Erica, you have our vote babe. Call me.

My best friend’s sister’s brother’s girlfriend knows this guy who knows this kid that said Colt McCoy is for the gays.  Colt, you’re a faggot, you suck at football and threw the game away against Nebraska who murdered your shitty team. Everyone knows you have NO business being in the national championship game. I’m glad you got hurt.

LOS ANGELES – Brittany Murphy, the actress who got her start in the sleeper hit “Clueless” and rose to stardom in “8 Mile” before her movie roles declined in recent years, died Sunday in Los Angeles of what appeared to be natural causes, a Los Angeles County coroner’s official said. She was 32.

Murphy was pronounced dead at 10:04 a.m. at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, hospital spokeswoman Sally Stewart said.

Murphy was transported to the hospital after the Los Angeles Fire Department responded to a call at 8 a.m. at the home she shared with her husband, British screenwriter Simon Monjack, in the Hollywood Hills.

Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter said Murphy apparently collapsed in the bathroom, and authorities were looking into her medical history.

An official cause of death may not be determined for some time, since toxicology tests will be required, but “it appears to be natural,” Winter said. He said an autopsy was planned for Monday or Tuesday.

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So who is Elin Nordegren Woods? Great question because little is know about her publicly, I mean since she stole Tiger’s heart wallet and nearly beat his ass up with his own golf club. Rad, by the way. So here you go, all you need to know about Elin Nordegren Woods.

She grew up in Stockholm, and while she did some modeling in her teens, the idea that she was a “Swedish supermodel” is one of those urban legends that grows in the retelling. “She wasn’t a high-profile model,” as the Beast quotes a source from a New York modeling agency, and, to be fair, she didn’t seem to be particularly interested in modeling as a career.

But she was around the world of golf long before she met Woods, serving as the nanny to golfer Jesper Parnevik. She met Tiger at the 2001 British Open, and it wasn’t exactly a romantic introduction for the ages.

According to SI, Tiger was so nervous about asking her out that he had a friend do it for him. Initially, she declined. But Woods persisted, she relented, and they married in a lavish $1.5 million ceremony in Barbados. That wedding was the stuff of tabloid heaven, with Hootie and the Blowfish as the house band and Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley in attendance. [1]

Come Tiger, you had your friend ask Elin out on a date for you? That’s classic “for the gays” if you know I mean.  So as all of the drama unfolds we’ll be here to cover most of it, and make fun of it, for your enjoyment.  Elin, call me.

Elin Nordegren Woods Naked Pics (NSFW, oh and turn off Google’s SafeSearch)
Life’s Short, Have An Affair (Worked for me!)

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No one understands this better than Barack Obama and his team, who won the 2008 election in part because they were better storytellers than the opposition. The pro-Obama narrative featured an almost mystically talented young idealist who stood for change in a disciplined and thoughtful way. This easily outpowered the anti-Obama narrative, featuring an opportunistic Chicago pol with dubious relationships who was more liberal than he was letting on.

A year into his presidency, however, Obama’s gift for controlling his image shows signs of faltering. As Washington returns to work from the Thanksgiving holiday, there are several anti-Obama storylines gaining momentum.

Here are seven storylines Obama needs to worry about

Well you know what they say?  It’s all fun and games until Truth catches up with you. And that goes for all of us.

Nicole Bahl who? Don’t feel bad if you haven’t heard of her either, I hadn’t until this morning. I must say, I’m a bit torn on whether or not I think she’s that great looking. Having said that, I have literally eaten myself into a Turkey coma so at this point I’d probably stick my Greg in her ass a few times and then clean it off in her hair.

Nicole Bahl Bikini Photos (Thanks Tyler)
Nicole Bahl Official Website

So maybe she didn’t really say “Fuck you” but I know deep down that’s what she meant. Not that this is real new but I sort of found it funny so you’re going to hear about it. Okay?

“I think it’s like [a] cult… I think it’s a cult,” Miley told Sirius XM’s The Morning Mash Up in an interview that aired on Tuesday. “I think it’s bad. I think it’s like, just people get too into it.” [1]

Cheers Miley, Twilight is a fucking train wreck not only from a moral standpoint but also a huge waste of time for anyone to invest a few hours into. Come to think of it, this may be the best thing you’ve done in a while.  I still get dibs on your 18th right? Call me. Oh, and you’re full of it Miley. I talked to Megan last night and she said she’s never even seen the pole. What?

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STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Jennifer Lopez took a spill on stage during last night’s 37th annual American Music Awards while performing her new song, “Louboutins,” the first single off her new album “Love?,” which is scheduled to be released nex year.

During the performance, JLo walked across the backs of her male backup dancers, who were positioned to create a staircase. After reaching the top, she jumped off (while holding the hand of another dancer), tucking her knees as she jumped. [1]

Jennifer Lopez has been falling since 1999.I hate J-Lo, and her fugly husband.

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Carrie Prejean remained all smiles as she slowly disconnected her microphone and earpiece and stopped answering questions in the middle of an interview with Larry King last night.

After talking to King about Sarah Palin, whom she called her hero, Prejean became combative when asked about her motivations for settling, repeatedly claiming that King was being “inappropriate” by asking the questions. [1]

Carrie, does this mean we’re still on for anal sex tonight? Hey, if you’re lying so much I might as well start.

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So I don’t know shit about Christian Serratos but I really want to fuck her. And not the kind of love making that takes hours but more of the Mr-Nasty up against the wall how’s your father fucking you wish you could do with Megan Fox. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Megs, and she loves me but Christian Serratos is now #2 on the ass hit list. I am going to have to organize a threesome with Megs and Chris here soon, I’ll let you all know how that goes.

Regarding PETA, you are a worthless organization. Let me take that back. The skimpy photos you are able to pull out of your asses are worthwhile. I would change my mind if you wanted to buy a few bushels of advertising from us.  You’ve got the number.