Image source: google images

A legal analyst for CBS News says Paris Hilton is in some serious deep shit over her weekend Coke Possession charges and points out her claim of “the purse was not hers” is pretty much bold and fucking retarded.

“…In the purse that she was carrying, was her prescription  medication she concedes, $1,300 which belonged to her. Other items in the purse like lip balm that belonged to her. So it doesn’t really make a lot of sense that the only thing in the purse apparently that didn’t belong to her was this small bindle of cocaine that she didn’t know was there or she thought was gum. That’s not a plausible story.”

If Paris is convicted..

“It’s a minimum of probation (but) she has a prior history here in California from 2007 of both a DUI and two probation violations. I think under those circumstances the officials would send her to jail, probably just for a short time, though.”

Las Vegas district attorney, the man who put O.J. Simpson in prison for 33 years, claims that he is clearing not fucking around on this case..

“Roger won’t tolerate celebrities coming to Las Vegas and thinking they can get away with illegal behavior,” said a source. “It’s going to be extremely difficult for Paris to get out of these charges.”Roger is running for reelection and has a record of high-profile victories in the legal arena.“This is a high profile case, right before a very important election, and it’s very likely that there will be no plea bargaining down of these charges.”

Meanwhile, we know that our U.S. Judicial system is fucked up and Paris will more than likely never see a single day in any jail. Come on, it makes you feel good does it? If you had all of that money you could use it for your own personal good too.

Nasty, check this out!! Love the site!!! -Kevin

Hi Kevin, thanks. We do too. Oh, and “Ow!”.

Nasty, wtf happened? Your girl went and married gay boy.

Yes but don’t be fooled, I’m still slamming the hit out of that ass. She actually talked about it with me prior and we both agreed that it was a good thing at least to keep the media off of me.

Nasty, seriously what the fuck is wrong with Lady GaGa? The bitch is obviously fucking psycho. Okay so she proved she didn’t have a penis in the video but every time I see the freak my dick heads north up into my body and then again something inside me wants to rail fuck her hard. Like the type of fucking you give someone you don’t like, at all.. a hate fuck. What up with that? Peace brother, glad you brought the site back just wish you updated more. -Rob

Rob, first you’re welcome. Yeah I know I suck at updating, I’m busy and really only do it when shit is bothering me. Besides, you are aware you can write stories for me right?

Secondly, I agree. GaGa is a nut job and I was surprised that she ended up not having a Greg. I sort of agree with you too on the whole hate fucking thing. She has that “you wanna stick your dick in her ass and maybe earhole type of personality”… “and then maybe back in her ass then mouth and then blow it all over her man chest”. Does that make you gay?  Probably.. but at least you could die knowing you were gay with GaGa. Or should I call her GayGa? I mean she’s down for that whole Gay Rights thing..

Since we’re on the GaGa issue here’s her new video Alejandro. I actually like this song so fuck you if you don’t. Bitch.

A shocking separation! An astonishing sinkhole! A controversial commercial! Below, we sum up some of the week’s hottest stories. You might want to go ahead and drop your jaw now.

Al and Tipper call it quits
Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, announced that they were separating after 40 years of marriage. The news set off a slew of Web searches on everything from “al gore split reason” (family associates say they just grew apart) to “tipper gore real name” (Mary Elizabeth, for those who want to know). The split, which took just about everybody by surprise, also renewed a lot of Search interest in the Gore children. Online lookups for Karenna Gore Schiff surged over 400%, and searches on her younger sister Sarah Gore Lee also spiked. Finally, we couldn’t help but notice the bittersweet searches on “al tipper gore kiss,” no doubt a reference to their famous embrace at the 2000 Democratic National Convention.

Unlike Your Girlfriend’s Orgasm, No, it’s not faked
In a time of special effects and CGI, it’s hard to believe that the gigantic sinkhole in Guatemala is 100% real. But, it is, kids. It really is. The sinkhole, which spans a city intersection and goes 330 feet deep, was the result of Tropical Storm Agatha. The storm itself took the lives of over 175 people. Fortunately, the actual sinkhole didn’t lead to any injuries (though it did swallow a clothing factory). It also earned instant Internet fame. Searches on “sinkhole” and “guatemala sinkhole 2010″ were both off the charts. Curious searchers also sent lookups sky high on “what is a sinkhole” and “how does a sinkhole work.”

Come as you are
A new McDonald’s commercial airing on French TV stations sent the world into a tizzy. The ad features a male teenager, flirting on the phone, while his dad buys hamburgers at the counter. At the end of the commercial, the audience learns the boy is gay (though his dad remains in the dark). As far as we can tell, it’s the first McDonald’s ad to feature a gay character. Most people in the gay community responded to the ad positively, calling this a step in the right direction. Others, including some gay activists, were less impressed, partly because the young man remains closeted. It won’t air in the United States, but you can watch it on Yahoo! Video below…

Oh my god Nasty, have you see Nick Malibu yet? He’s cutting a new album and is going to be the next Emimen, except much gayer. Just thought you’d like to know. – Jay

Ah yes, huge fan. Some of you might remember Nick from here. Nick, your just dreadful. How are you supposed to bust a single to your fans when you can’t even speak right? One word: enun·ci·ate. I will admit watching you is sort of addicting. Seriously, its like driving past a train wreck and you just can’t help but to look at all of the dead body parts lying around and all of the wreckage.

Check out Nick’s YouTube channel. Make sure to point when you laugh.

Oh and Nick, you’re welcome. Hey, negative press is press.

Nicole Bahl who? Don’t feel bad if you haven’t heard of her either, I hadn’t until this morning. I must say, I’m a bit torn on whether or not I think she’s that great looking. Having said that, I have literally eaten myself into a Turkey coma so at this point I’d probably stick my Greg in her ass a few times and then clean it off in her hair.

Nicole Bahl Bikini Photos (Thanks Tyler)
Nicole Bahl Official Website

Carrie Prejean remained all smiles as she slowly disconnected her microphone and earpiece and stopped answering questions in the middle of an interview with Larry King last night.

After talking to King about Sarah Palin, whom she called her hero, Prejean became combative when asked about her motivations for settling, repeatedly claiming that King was being “inappropriate” by asking the questions. [1]

Carrie, does this mean we’re still on for anal sex tonight? Hey, if you’re lying so much I might as well start.

[1]

SAO PAULO (AFP) – Brazil on Wednesday sought to uncover the cause of a massive and mysterious blackout overnight, amid concerns of energy supply stability for the 2016 Olympics host nation.

The outage, which hit at 10:15 pm Tuesday (0015 GMT Wednesday) and lasted around four hours, plunged nearly half the country into darkness after supply problems from the country’s biggest power plant.

An estimated 70 million people — more than a third of Brazil’s 190-million-strong population — were affected, according to the energy ministry, mainly in the major southern cities, including Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. Related article: World’s worst power cuts.

Let me guess, Real House Wives is filming and Gretchen Rossi plugged in the bullet?

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So I don’t know shit about Christian Serratos but I really want to fuck her. And not the kind of love making that takes hours but more of the Mr-Nasty up against the wall how’s your father fucking you wish you could do with Megan Fox. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Megs, and she loves me but Christian Serratos is now #2 on the ass hit list. I am going to have to organize a threesome with Megs and Chris here soon, I’ll let you all know how that goes.

Regarding PETA, you are a worthless organization. Let me take that back. The skimpy photos you are able to pull out of your asses are worthwhile. I would change my mind if you wanted to buy a few bushels of advertising from us.  You’ve got the number.