Oh my god Nasty, have you see Nick Malibu yet? He’s cutting a new album and is going to be the next Emimen, except much gayer. Just thought you’d like to know. – Jay

Ah yes, huge fan. Some of you might remember Nick from here. Nick, your just dreadful. How are you supposed to bust a single to your fans when you can’t even speak right? One word: enun·ci·ate. I will admit watching you is sort of addicting. Seriously, its like driving past a train wreck and you just can’t help but to look at all of the dead body parts lying around and all of the wreckage.

Check out Nick’s YouTube channel. Make sure to point when you laugh.

Oh and Nick, you’re welcome. Hey, negative press is press.

Nicole Bahl who? Don’t feel bad if you haven’t heard of her either, I hadn’t until this morning. I must say, I’m a bit torn on whether or not I think she’s that great looking. Having said that, I have literally eaten myself into a Turkey coma so at this point I’d probably stick my Greg in her ass a few times and then clean it off in her hair.

Nicole Bahl Bikini Photos (Thanks Tyler)
Nicole Bahl Official Website

Carrie Prejean remained all smiles as she slowly disconnected her microphone and earpiece and stopped answering questions in the middle of an interview with Larry King last night.

After talking to King about Sarah Palin, whom she called her hero, Prejean became combative when asked about her motivations for settling, repeatedly claiming that King was being “inappropriate” by asking the questions. [1]

Carrie, does this mean we’re still on for anal sex tonight? Hey, if you’re lying so much I might as well start.

[1]

SAO PAULO (AFP) – Brazil on Wednesday sought to uncover the cause of a massive and mysterious blackout overnight, amid concerns of energy supply stability for the 2016 Olympics host nation.

The outage, which hit at 10:15 pm Tuesday (0015 GMT Wednesday) and lasted around four hours, plunged nearly half the country into darkness after supply problems from the country’s biggest power plant.

An estimated 70 million people — more than a third of Brazil’s 190-million-strong population — were affected, according to the energy ministry, mainly in the major southern cities, including Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. Related article: World’s worst power cuts.

Let me guess, Real House Wives is filming and Gretchen Rossi plugged in the bullet?

Click for full size

So I don’t know shit about Christian Serratos but I really want to fuck her. And not the kind of love making that takes hours but more of the Mr-Nasty up against the wall how’s your father fucking you wish you could do with Megan Fox. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Megs, and she loves me but Christian Serratos is now #2 on the ass hit list. I am going to have to organize a threesome with Megs and Chris here soon, I’ll let you all know how that goes.

Regarding PETA, you are a worthless organization. Let me take that back. The skimpy photos you are able to pull out of your asses are worthwhile. I would change my mind if you wanted to buy a few bushels of advertising from us.  You’ve got the number.

VirtualPimp, so I know I’m not as lucky as you and get to actually bone Megan Fox or have her on speed dial but I found this and had to send it over. What’s up with this guy Nasty? He’s scamming on you bitch dog. – Toby

A Boy Looking For a Girls Love by Atta

Megan, you mean everything to me.
I don´t know what I´m feeling about you,
maybe It´s the magic of love,
because when I see your face my heart´s starts to beat more quickly and when I hear your voice I feel like crying,
just too hear your voice would make my day a whole lot better.
Your beauty is unimaginable,
many have tried to be like you,
many have failed and there´s no other girl that can be like you.
When I´m feeling down it is you who´s reaching out for me again.
My dream is too know you someday and when I do,
I´ll kiss you has many times you would like.
It was in the Winter, my love,
that we loved each other like no one else had loved for sure.
And so I wrote you these words down for you to remember why I love you.

Toby, as fate would have it Megan, or Megs as I call her, is simply a hot piece of ass. There is nothing wrong with her what so ever, not a single flaw on or in her body. The only flaw Megs would ever have in her is my Greg and whatever my Greg spits into her when we’re finished and even that is momentarily. I see stuff like this all of the time and frankly it is flattering. I love getting to bag Megs, and she loves bagging me. That is love, the rest well as they say is bush league.

Oh, and isn’t there more important news going on right now? Like Military folk killing each other? Oh and by the way, whatever you hear on the news about htis, did not happen. It’s called disinformation. You read it here first, my gut is telling me this is the first of many more Waco-like events happening in our future. *queue in spooky music*

[1]

Listen to Lindsay’s Mental Break Down Phone Call

“I’m not someone who is gonna go to someone else when they’re like, constantly (inaudible) the only person that they’re there for and that’s not what I have, and I want to so much.

(after this she cries uncontrollably for about 5 seconds)

“Just ‘cause they’re caring more than the other side. And so mommy says that I’m like you were, and then she’s like, defending, and so she says to me on the phone, she doesn’t back me, she doesn’t stand by me.”

(after this she again cries loudly)

Why?

Why?

I’m fine.

No one cares about me. They don’t by the way. No one cares about that much. It’s never about that. It’s about how they feel, not how I feel. No, it’s not about me. It’s never about me. Unless I fight for it.

Lindsay, just go pop some pills and thrown down a few shots, all will be well. Actually, STOP doing drugs, STOP drinking, STOP being a complete fucking idiot in public and land yourself some good acting roles and get your life back on track you fucking idiot.  Just say’n. I hope that doesn’t ruin our date tonight.

TLC slaps Jon Gosselin with lawsuit
The TLC network has sued Jon Gosselin for allegedly breaching his contract as a star of the hit reality show “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”The lawsuit, filed Friday in the Circuit Court of Montgomery County, Md., alleges that Gosselin has failed to meet his obligations as an exclusive employee of the network, while appearing on rival networks’ programs for pay and making unauthorized public disclosures about the show.

Fuck me, am I the only person alive that doesn’t give a fuck about the Gosselin Family? I mean who fucking cares? They had 8 kids, she’s a bitch, he’s a hookers wet dream. TLC, your network fucking sucks.

Goldman Sachs $700,000+ Bonuses
For Goldman employees, it is almost as if the financial crisis never happened. Only months after paying back billions of taxpayer dollars, Goldman Sachs is on pace to pay annual bonuses that will rival the record payouts that it made in 2007, at the height of the bubble. In the last nine months, the bank set aside about $16.7 billion for compensation — on track to pay each of its 31,700 employees close to $700,000 this year. Top producers are expecting multimillion-dollar paydays.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? How about the rest of America mans-up with me and creates the largest class action law suit ever seen for stealing taxpayers hard earned money? You saw it here first. I mean come on, even if we won it’s not like they won’t get bailed out again.

Jennifer Aniston Drunk Dail
Jennifer Aniston drunk-dialed Brad Pitt, and got the shock of her life when Angelina Jolie answered. Jen was home alone in her sprawling Beverly Hills mansion in late September when she dialed Brad after downing a few glasses of white wine. When Jen heard Angie’s voice, she freaked out.” Flustered, Jen launched into a blistering attack on Angelina, said the insider. “Jen basically told Angie that she hated her, but Angelina fired back!”

Unless the story involves Jennifer and Angelina fucking each others orifices, I don’t want to hear this shit again. I don’t’ care which orifice, an ear hole with a tongue or even elbow would be fine.

Megan Fox Killed Early In Transformers 3
While Megan has been signed on for the third film, the rumor going around is that she will not last that long.  What that means for Shia LaBeouf and his love interest for the movie remains to be seen. If Mikaela Banes was killed early in Transformers 3, I think that the flow of the film could be all thrown out of wack. What do you think about the rumor, and who do you think could fill the love interest role that Megan currently has in the films if she is killed off?

So I’ve been getting massive emails coming in about my girlfriend fuck buddy Megan Fox and how Michael Bay has decided to kill her off in the upcoming Transformers 3. This is simply not true, at least she hasn’t said anything about it to me. It could be that I was just enjoying her giving me my hourly blow job and I could have missed it in her mumbling on my Greg.

Fun Links For That Ass:
Life’s Short, Have An Affair, yeah no shit! – worked for me, a few times!
The best resignation letter ever – they say the truth hurts
Scarface Quits His Job – who wouldn’t want to go out like this?
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can’t Explain – the aliens made them.
WorldMingle.com – pretty cool website, and free
One Terrorist vs. Two Apache Hellfire Missles – who ya got?
The Dirty Daily – full of useless slander, good times.
South Park Episode Butters’ Buttom Bitch – in case you missed it.

This morning People magazine revealed its new cover featuring a photograph of a beaming Jaycee Dugard. The image of the 29-year-old Dugard is the first to be released to the public since she was was freed after spending the past 18 years in captivity and reunited with her family. A quote from Dugard accompanies the cover photo that says simply, “I’m so happy to be back with my family.” [1]

You know Jacee, with some highlights and a little body toning you’d be a knock out. No wonder they kept you hidden for so long. What? Too soon?

[1]

NSFW

And who said Susan Sarandon has never done anyting worthwhile with her career or life. She made Eva Amuri didn’t she? Eva’s face isn’t a Megan Fox face but her body is fantastical and I would love to hammer that shit, a few times.  Eva, give me a call.