TLC slaps Jon Gosselin with lawsuit
The TLC network has sued Jon Gosselin for allegedly breaching his contract as a star of the hit reality show “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”The lawsuit, filed Friday in the Circuit Court of Montgomery County, Md., alleges that Gosselin has failed to meet his obligations as an exclusive employee of the network, while appearing on rival networks’ programs for pay and making unauthorized public disclosures about the show.

Fuck me, am I the only person alive that doesn’t give a fuck about the Gosselin Family? I mean who fucking cares? They had 8 kids, she’s a bitch, he’s a hookers wet dream. TLC, your network fucking sucks.

Goldman Sachs $700,000+ Bonuses
For Goldman employees, it is almost as if the financial crisis never happened. Only months after paying back billions of taxpayer dollars, Goldman Sachs is on pace to pay annual bonuses that will rival the record payouts that it made in 2007, at the height of the bubble. In the last nine months, the bank set aside about $16.7 billion for compensation — on track to pay each of its 31,700 employees close to $700,000 this year. Top producers are expecting multimillion-dollar paydays.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? How about the rest of America mans-up with me and creates the largest class action law suit ever seen for stealing taxpayers hard earned money? You saw it here first. I mean come on, even if we won it’s not like they won’t get bailed out again.

Jennifer Aniston Drunk Dail
Jennifer Aniston drunk-dialed Brad Pitt, and got the shock of her life when Angelina Jolie answered. Jen was home alone in her sprawling Beverly Hills mansion in late September when she dialed Brad after downing a few glasses of white wine. When Jen heard Angie’s voice, she freaked out.” Flustered, Jen launched into a blistering attack on Angelina, said the insider. “Jen basically told Angie that she hated her, but Angelina fired back!”

Unless the story involves Jennifer and Angelina fucking each others orifices, I don’t want to hear this shit again. I don’t’ care which orifice, an ear hole with a tongue or even elbow would be fine.

Megan Fox Killed Early In Transformers 3
While Megan has been signed on for the third film, the rumor going around is that she will not last that long.  What that means for Shia LaBeouf and his love interest for the movie remains to be seen. If Mikaela Banes was killed early in Transformers 3, I think that the flow of the film could be all thrown out of wack. What do you think about the rumor, and who do you think could fill the love interest role that Megan currently has in the films if she is killed off?

So I’ve been getting massive emails coming in about my girlfriend fuck buddy Megan Fox and how Michael Bay has decided to kill her off in the upcoming Transformers 3. This is simply not true, at least she hasn’t said anything about it to me. It could be that I was just enjoying her giving me my hourly blow job and I could have missed it in her mumbling on my Greg.

Fun Links For That Ass:
Life’s Short, Have An Affair, yeah no shit! – worked for me, a few times!
The best resignation letter ever – they say the truth hurts
Scarface Quits His Job – who wouldn’t want to go out like this?
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can’t Explain – the aliens made them.
WorldMingle.com – pretty cool website, and free
One Terrorist vs. Two Apache Hellfire Missles – who ya got?
The Dirty Daily – full of useless slander, good times.
South Park Episode Butters’ Buttom Bitch – in case you missed it.

NEW YORK – David Letterman, days after revealing on air that he’d been sexually involved with women from his television program, apologized to his wife on Monday’s “Late Show,” saying she had been “horribly hurt by my behavior” and stating flat-out those affairs “are in the past.”

The CBS late-night host, building on Thursday’s startling confessional, vowed to repair his relationship with his wife, Regina Lasko, whom he married in March after a years-long courtship.

“Let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me,” he said ruefully. [1]

David, give it 2 weeks and no one will even remember it happened.  Hopefully she was hot. I mean you wouldn’t want to cheat on your wife with an uglier woman right?

- Watch David Letterman’s Apology

Image Source: WWTDD.com, submitted by viewer.

Nasty, I have no other words to even write. I just thought you should know.

Holy shit!! K-Fag, errr Fed what the fuck happened? Did Ronald McDonald hook your ass up with a Black McDonalds Card?!? Seriously guy, you need to slim down I mean for fucks sakes even Shitney has turned herself around, why can’t you? I’ll close in saying that you must have a stunning personality or a 12″ dick with golden cum to be bagging Victoria Prince. Victoria, call me.

View More K-Fat Photos Here (No, seriously, view them, now! Oh and send them to your family and friends)

Oh incase you were wondering, Ryan Jenkins killed himself. Or so they say. If you ask me I bet Dog The Bounty Hunter caught him and in Jesus’ name strung him up to die.

More on the story from Fox News Reporter Nik Richie

Tyler Says..

Brangelina - Come on, he/she is one

BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, “Why don’t you get a house, jerk!” to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap)

Jon Gosselin Smoking - But are they organic smokes?

JON GOSSELIN – was caught smoking what looks to be a joint. Luckily that’s legal if you’re married to Kate Gosselin, which he is. (source = radar)

Elle MacPherson - Nice Rack! Just Sayin

ELLE MACPHERSON – as the worlds hottest 45-year-old dropped her kids off at school in London, this guy with the scooter had to feel even cooler than he usually does. I hope she doesn’t blow him right there, right in front of the kids. (14 more pics from today and Saturday = here.   hq jump = here.   source = wenn, fame and getty)

Meanwhile back at the ranch I’m very tired due to a series of harsh thunderstorms that rushed through the midwest last night. Thank the Lord it is Friday, if I had to put one more day of the week I’ve had in this work week I’d probably go shoot someone. Seriously, today couldn’t get here fast enough.

As I checkout for the weekend, I leave you with Megan.

Normally I’m not this harsh but I HATE SPENCER PRATT.  The guy is the biggest fucking douche on the face of the planet.  I will laugh when someone finally decideds to put a slug in his head. Ohh… too harsh?  Spencer, you’re a BITCH!

Because you do shit like this.. faggot.

Isn’t it about time one of you goes on a drug and gay sex binge? Oh, and this was funny the first time around with Timberlake did it on SNL.

This world is rife with moral decay. Doubters need only look to the vacant church pews and surging Cracked readership for confirmation. That, and the fact that the porn industry utterly dominates all others.

Think we’re exaggerating? We’ve got the numbers to back it up. As big as you think porn is, it’s bigger, and its influence on modern society is deeper. As Jules Verne once said, “Some day, this whole thing is gonna be titties.”

It’s funny because it’s true! (Read It)

Is it me or unless you’re Megan Fox speedos should just be flat out illegal. This especially goes for guys, Jerry…

Jerry O'Connell

Seriously Jerry, NO ONE (including chicks) wants to see you in a fucking speedo.

Good news, our sources in Vegas have confirmed that The Burrito has yet to strike and Hooman a.k.a. Nik Richie is still breathing without any kind of blocking of the airwaves (The Burrito’s balls in his mouth).

Nik Richie vs The Burrito

Follow it here and here. Again, we’re sure it’s all a publicity stunt given the nature of the Memorial Weekend Invasion but it makes for some fun.

Image source TheDirty.com and Google Image Search.