Nasty, Nick’s back and badass as ever. Just thought you should know. -Terry

Ah yeah there’s nothing better than a little Nick Malibu to go with your healthy breakfast of 6 egg whites, some diced red, green peppers, and onion, half a cup of strawberries and 1/2 cup of cottage cheese in the morning. In case you’re wondering I’m back in health mode which is why I’ve been MIA the last week. Health mode and fighting a nasty battle with hemorrhoids that I’m happy to say I’m now winning. It was a close battle there this weekend but thanks to my anal icepack I’m now the victor. Speaking of annoying ass friends, Nick you’re the shit so don’t ever change.  #2 fan, behind Nik of course.

I love Oprah. In fact, I love Oprah so much I’d even sleep with her, for money, a lot of money, and I’d even cum up inside that hot piece of ass. What’s better than Oprah kicking so much ass is she will tear into anyone she feels like it and for any reason. Especially douche lords like Jay Leno. Jay, I really don’t have much to say about you other than your show always has sucked and you’re a douche lord. Let’s face it, the best thing to happen to “The Tonight Show” was to put Conan on it. Oprah, you’re the shit. (I really hope Oprah doesn’t read this and forces me to come on her show to talk about the spooge portion of this post – afterall we are a college humor portal… nah that’d never happen.)

Erica, you have our vote babe. Call me.

“The massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming. The rallies, the signs, all the goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet, and the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain to be in our audience, made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.”

“To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.”

“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

This was probably one of the best sign offs I’ve ever seen, ever, and probably the best in the history of the world. Conan O’Brien used unthinkable pose to open and close his last airing of “The Tonight Show”, it just doesn’t get any better than that kids.  Conan on a personal note you rock and whatever comes at you next will be great. Thank you for a great 7 months and I’ll see you on Sunday.

Because we just didn’t want you to forget. Kayne is a gay fish.

This just in. Our inside sources have presented confidential information exclusively to Mr-Nasty.com that proves Adam Lambert is NOT GAY.

Oh wait. Never mind, the dudes a total fucking faggot. Back to you Tim.

My best friend’s sister’s brother’s girlfriend knows this guy who knows this kid that said Colt McCoy is for the gays.  Colt, you’re a faggot, you suck at football and threw the game away against Nebraska who murdered your shitty team. Everyone knows you have NO business being in the national championship game. I’m glad you got hurt.

Are you a Vince Vaughn fan? Or are you like me and think the guys a total fucking douche bag? The latter? Good, most of the world who actually knows Vince knows that he’s one of the world’s largest douche bags. Take it from me, we gave up part of our VIP at Tabu in Vegas the douche’s entourage could come in and mean stare at us all night. The bouncer, his body guard, and the staff all admitted they fucking hated him and hated waiting on him. Even the ladies in his entourage left them to come ride my homie’s leg like a dog on a a bone causing even more of a ruckus between our two parties. There is no other word to describe Vince Vaughn other than “douche”, period. Anyway, douche finally broke down and married his long time girlfriend, we’ll call her the douche lover, Kyla Weber. Who is Kyla Weber? A douche lover, that’s who.  God Speed Kyla.

Vince, when you’re ready let’s get together for a little celebrity boxing.

Thanks Tyler! Here we go…

100. JASMINE FIORE WAS MURDERED – by her husband, who was a contestant on the VH1 show ‘Megan Wants a Millionaire’. He pulled out her teeth, cut off her fingers and threw her body in a dumpster. So at least he wasn’t a litterbug. (August 15th)

99. MICHAEL JACKSON DIED – This one should probably be higher on the list but fuck that dude. He was a pedophile and his music sucked. Good riddance weirdo. (June 25th)

98. SUSAN BOYLE IS AN OVERNIGHT STAR – Does it bother anyone that she can’t really sing? After the first 5 lines on her famous ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ appearance her voice completely went to hell. What do you, got asthma or somethin? (April 11th)

97. LINDSAY LOHAN SUCKS – The reviews for the debut of her fashion line could have been worse, but only if they included a bunch of racist name calling for some reason. (October 4th)

96. BRITNEY SPEARS IS STACKED – Britney wore a see-thru t-shirt while in Australia for her ‘Circus’ tour. It maybe wasn’t as newsworthy as Michael Jackson dying, but what can I say, I just really love looking at girls’ tits. (November 5th)

95. RYAN SEACREST – tries to give this guy a high five on ‘American Idol’, but the dude acts like he doesn’t even see him. That guy is a real jerk! (January 14th)

94. PETE WENTZ – got drunk with some strippers in Vegas while his wife Ashlee Simpson was home alone, posting pictures of their baby on Twitter. Advantage: Pete Wentz. (April 8th)

93. DAKOTA FANNING – is a cheerleader at Campbell Hall Episcopal High School in North Hollywood, and this year she was named Homecoming Queen. If this story was any more wholesome it would be filled with vitamins. (November 2nd)

92. JESSICA SIMPSON – had her little Maltese dog snatched away by coyotes, and she put up “missing” and “reward” signs but to no avail. Probably because coyotes can’t read signs. (September 15th)

91. TARA REID – finally posed topless for Playboy, in the most eagerly anticipated pictorial of 2002. (December 12)

90. OLIVIA MUNN POSED FOR PLAYBOY – more or less. Mostly more, unfortunately. (June 19th)

And the list goes on.. and on..

We’re out until Jan 4, see you next year!

LOS ANGELES – Brittany Murphy, the actress who got her start in the sleeper hit “Clueless” and rose to stardom in “8 Mile” before her movie roles declined in recent years, died Sunday in Los Angeles of what appeared to be natural causes, a Los Angeles County coroner’s official said. She was 32.

Murphy was pronounced dead at 10:04 a.m. at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, hospital spokeswoman Sally Stewart said.

Murphy was transported to the hospital after the Los Angeles Fire Department responded to a call at 8 a.m. at the home she shared with her husband, British screenwriter Simon Monjack, in the Hollywood Hills.

Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter said Murphy apparently collapsed in the bathroom, and authorities were looking into her medical history.

An official cause of death may not be determined for some time, since toxicology tests will be required, but “it appears to be natural,” Winter said. He said an autopsy was planned for Monday or Tuesday.

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