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Hey assholes, yes you, asshole.. want to become a part of the Nasty Family? I’m looking for some good content authors to help me keep this fucking shit hole updated. Yeah, I’ve been busy and haven’t been fulfilling my Nasty duties so why not join up and help out?  If you want to help contriube to our Nastiness please drop me a line telling me why you think you’d be a good fit for our family and we’ll see if my shoe fits in your ass good enough to bring you on board.

Haiti Earthquake - (c) Getty Images

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – The most powerful aftershock yet struck Haiti on Wednesday, shaking more rubble from damaged buildings and sending screaming people running into the streets eight days after the country’s capital was devastated by an apocalyptic quake.

The magnitude-6.1 temblor was the largest of more than 40 significant aftershocks that have followed the Jan. 12 quake. The extent of additional damage or injuries was not immediately clear.

Wails of terror rose from frightened survivors as the earth shuddered at 6:03 a.m. U.S. soldiers and tent city refugees alike raced for open ground, and clouds of dust rose in the capital. [1]

Extra extra, read all about it, Haiti got Fucked the Hell UP again.  Although this entire Haiti insanity isn’t really funny you can rest assured that we’re doing our part to help the crisis, just like we did with 9/11.  We have sent a few thousand dollars ($4800.00 to be exact) to the Red Cross relief fund to help relocate those Haitians to the United States to take even more of our jobs and drive up our Taxes. See, it’s the circle of life. Please do your part of the circle by donating some of your hard earned money by clicking the link below.

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The Nasty Family is out for the Holidays. We’ll see you on Jan 4, 2010 suckas!

So who is Elin Nordegren Woods? Great question because little is know about her publicly, I mean since she stole Tiger’s heart wallet and nearly beat his ass up with his own golf club. Rad, by the way. So here you go, all you need to know about Elin Nordegren Woods.

She grew up in Stockholm, and while she did some modeling in her teens, the idea that she was a “Swedish supermodel” is one of those urban legends that grows in the retelling. “She wasn’t a high-profile model,” as the Beast quotes a source from a New York modeling agency, and, to be fair, she didn’t seem to be particularly interested in modeling as a career.

But she was around the world of golf long before she met Woods, serving as the nanny to golfer Jesper Parnevik. She met Tiger at the 2001 British Open, and it wasn’t exactly a romantic introduction for the ages.

According to SI, Tiger was so nervous about asking her out that he had a friend do it for him. Initially, she declined. But Woods persisted, she relented, and they married in a lavish $1.5 million ceremony in Barbados. That wedding was the stuff of tabloid heaven, with Hootie and the Blowfish as the house band and Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley in attendance. [1]

Come Tiger, you had your friend ask Elin out on a date for you? That’s classic “for the gays” if you know I mean.  So as all of the drama unfolds we’ll be here to cover most of it, and make fun of it, for your enjoyment.  Elin, call me.

Elin Nordegren Woods Naked Pics (NSFW, oh and turn off Google’s SafeSearch)
Life’s Short, Have An Affair (Worked for me!)

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No one understands this better than Barack Obama and his team, who won the 2008 election in part because they were better storytellers than the opposition. The pro-Obama narrative featured an almost mystically talented young idealist who stood for change in a disciplined and thoughtful way. This easily outpowered the anti-Obama narrative, featuring an opportunistic Chicago pol with dubious relationships who was more liberal than he was letting on.

A year into his presidency, however, Obama’s gift for controlling his image shows signs of faltering. As Washington returns to work from the Thanksgiving holiday, there are several anti-Obama storylines gaining momentum.

Here are seven storylines Obama needs to worry about

Well you know what they say?  It’s all fun and games until Truth catches up with you. And that goes for all of us.

Jason Rodriguez, 40, surrendered about three hours later, after officers saw him through the window of his mother’s home and asked him to come outside, Orlando Police Chief Val Demings said.

ORLANDO, Fla. – Officials said at least eight people were hurt in a shooting at a downtown office building Friday and a gunman was on the loose. [2]

BREAKING NEWS (Outdated)

People streamed out of the high-rise building around lunchtime and some told local television stations they had barricaded themselves inside their offices.

Orlando Fire Department District Chief Michael Droege said an unknown number of people were still in the building and could be injured. He said the SWAT team was still trying to pull people out.

“The building is not secure now,” he said. “It’s still unfolding.” [1]

Did I not just say this in my other post?

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FORT HOOD, Texas – A soldier opened fire at a U.S. Army base inFort Hood, Texas on Thursday, unleashing a stream of gunfire that left 12 people dead and 31 wounded. Authorities killed the gunman, and apprehended two other soldiers suspected in the attack.

The shooting began around 1:30 p.m., Lt. Gen. Bob Cone said at a news conference. He said all the casualties took place at the base’s Soldier Readiness Center, where soldiers who are about to be deployed or who are returning undergo medical screening.

In Washington, President Barack Obama called the shooting “a horrific outburst of violence.” He said it’s a tragedy to lose a soldier overseas and even more horrifying when they come under fire at an Army base on American soil.

PORTLAND, Maine—Shiloh Pepin, a girl who was born with fused legs, a rare condition often called “mermaid syndrome,” and gained a wide following on the Internet and national television, has died. She was 10.

Doctors had predicted she would only survive only for days after her birth at the most, but the girl, described by her mother as “a tough little thing,” died at Maine Medical Center on Friday afternoon, hospital spokesman John Lamb said. She had been hospitalized in critical condition for nearly a week.

Being born with “mermaid syndrome,” also known as sirenomelia, meant that the Kennebunkport girl had only one partially working kidney, no lower colon or genital organs and legs fused from the waist down. [1]

Sad.

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Nasty, in case you missed it Thursday night, Matt Holliday of the St. Louis Cardinals lost the game for his team by missing the final out of the game, a fly ball, allowing the Dodgers to stay alive and eventually come back and win.

Adding injury to insult, the ball actually hit Holliday right where the sun don’t shine. It was possibly the worst way to lose a game in the history of sports. Even when Chris Webber called timeout, you could say, “Well, at least he didn’t get hit in the balls.”

So check out the video below and then scroll through to see The 10 Worst Nut Shots In Sports.

BEGIN THE SLIDESHOW

TLC slaps Jon Gosselin with lawsuit
The TLC network has sued Jon Gosselin for allegedly breaching his contract as a star of the hit reality show “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”The lawsuit, filed Friday in the Circuit Court of Montgomery County, Md., alleges that Gosselin has failed to meet his obligations as an exclusive employee of the network, while appearing on rival networks’ programs for pay and making unauthorized public disclosures about the show.

Fuck me, am I the only person alive that doesn’t give a fuck about the Gosselin Family? I mean who fucking cares? They had 8 kids, she’s a bitch, he’s a hookers wet dream. TLC, your network fucking sucks.

Goldman Sachs $700,000+ Bonuses
For Goldman employees, it is almost as if the financial crisis never happened. Only months after paying back billions of taxpayer dollars, Goldman Sachs is on pace to pay annual bonuses that will rival the record payouts that it made in 2007, at the height of the bubble. In the last nine months, the bank set aside about $16.7 billion for compensation — on track to pay each of its 31,700 employees close to $700,000 this year. Top producers are expecting multimillion-dollar paydays.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? How about the rest of America mans-up with me and creates the largest class action law suit ever seen for stealing taxpayers hard earned money? You saw it here first. I mean come on, even if we won it’s not like they won’t get bailed out again.

Jennifer Aniston Drunk Dail
Jennifer Aniston drunk-dialed Brad Pitt, and got the shock of her life when Angelina Jolie answered. Jen was home alone in her sprawling Beverly Hills mansion in late September when she dialed Brad after downing a few glasses of white wine. When Jen heard Angie’s voice, she freaked out.” Flustered, Jen launched into a blistering attack on Angelina, said the insider. “Jen basically told Angie that she hated her, but Angelina fired back!”

Unless the story involves Jennifer and Angelina fucking each others orifices, I don’t want to hear this shit again. I don’t’ care which orifice, an ear hole with a tongue or even elbow would be fine.

Megan Fox Killed Early In Transformers 3
While Megan has been signed on for the third film, the rumor going around is that she will not last that long.  What that means for Shia LaBeouf and his love interest for the movie remains to be seen. If Mikaela Banes was killed early in Transformers 3, I think that the flow of the film could be all thrown out of wack. What do you think about the rumor, and who do you think could fill the love interest role that Megan currently has in the films if she is killed off?

So I’ve been getting massive emails coming in about my girlfriend fuck buddy Megan Fox and how Michael Bay has decided to kill her off in the upcoming Transformers 3. This is simply not true, at least she hasn’t said anything about it to me. It could be that I was just enjoying her giving me my hourly blow job and I could have missed it in her mumbling on my Greg.

Fun Links For That Ass:
Life’s Short, Have An Affair, yeah no shit! – worked for me, a few times!
The best resignation letter ever – they say the truth hurts
Scarface Quits His Job – who wouldn’t want to go out like this?
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can’t Explain – the aliens made them.
WorldMingle.com – pretty cool website, and free
One Terrorist vs. Two Apache Hellfire Missles – who ya got?
The Dirty Daily – full of useless slander, good times.
South Park Episode Butters’ Buttom Bitch – in case you missed it.