A eugenicist demanding the Discovery Channel must “broadcast to the world their commitment to save the planet” and “stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants” has taken a hostage at the television network’s headquarters in downtown Silver Spring, Maryland.

The media reports the man entered the building with explosives and has taken a security guard hostage. Montgomery County Police spokesman Cpl. Dan Fritz told the Washington Post that tactical and bomb squad officers are on the scene and are developing a plan to deal with the situation.

According to the Post, a note was posted on the internet on July 18 demanding the implementation of a global eugenics program. “All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions,” the post reads. “In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.” [1]

The post was posted on the savetheplanetprotest.com website. The entire “manifesto” follows with a screen-shot before the document was removed:

The Discovery Channel MUST broadcast to the world their commitment to save the planet and to do the following IMMEDIATELY:

1. The Discovery Channel and it’s affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn’s “My Ishmael” pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet would be done in the same way as the Industrial Revolution was done, by people building on each other’s inventive ideas. Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution. A game show format contest would be in order. Perhaps also forums of leading scientists who understand and agree with the Malthus-Darwin science and the problem of human overpopulation. Do both. Do all until something WORKS and the natural world starts improving and human civilization building STOPS and is reversed! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

3. All programs promoting War and the technology behind those must cease. There is no sense in advertising weapons of mass-destruction anymore. Instead, talk about ways to disassemble civilization and concentrate the message in finding SOLUTIONS to solving global military mechanized conflict. Again, solutions solutions instead of just repeating the same old wars with newer weapons. Also, keep out the fraudulent peace movements. They are liars and fakes and had no real intention of ending the wars. ALL OF THEM ARE FAKE! On one hand, they claim they want the wars to end, on the other, they are demanding the human population increase. World War II had 2 Billion humans and after that war, the people decided that tripling the population would assure peace. WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!

4. Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is. That, and all its disgusting religious-cultural roots and greed. Broadcast this message until the pollution in the planet is reversed and the human population goes down! This is your obligation. If you think it isn’t, then get hell off the planet! Breathe Oil! It is the moral obligation of everyone living otherwise what good are they??

5. Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it. Call for people in the world to develop solutions to stop it completely and permanently. Find solutions FOR these countries so they stop sending their breeding populations to the US and the world to seek jobs and therefore breed more unwanted pollution babies. FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEM TO STOP THEIR HUMAN GROWTH AND THE EXPORTATION OF THAT DISGUSTING FILTH! (The first world is feeding the population growth of the Third World and those human families are going to where the food is! They must stop procreating new humans looking for nonexistant jobs!)

6. Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy. Find ways so that people don’t build more housing pollution which destroys the environment to make way for more human filth! Find solutions so that people stop breeding as well as stopping using Oil in order to REVERSE Global warming and the destruction of the planet!

7. Develop shows that mention the Malthusian sciences about how food production leads to the overpopulation of the Human race. Talk about Evolution. Talk about Malthus and Darwin until it sinks into the stupid people’s brains until they get it!!

8. Saving the Planet means saving what’s left of the non-human Wildlife by decreasing the Human population. That means stopping the human race from breeding any more disgusting human babies! You’re the media, you can reach enough people. It’s your resposibility because you reach so many minds!!!

9. Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy. Find solutions for their disasterous Ponzi-Casino economy before they take the world to another nuclear war.

10. Stop all shows glorifying human birthing on all your channels and on TLC. Stop Future Weapons shows or replace the dialogue condemning the people behind these developments so that the shows become exposes rather than advertisements of Arms sales and development!

11. You’re also going to find solutions for unemployment and housing. All these unemployed people makes me think the US is headed toward more war.

Humans are the most destructive, filthy, pollutive creatures around and are wrecking what’s left of the planet with their false morals and breeding culture.

For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human’s lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!! All human procreation and farming must cease!

It is the responsiblity of everyone to preserve the planet they live on by not breeding any more children who will continue their filthy practices. Children represent FUTURE catastrophic pollution whereas their parents are current pollution. NO MORE BABIES! Population growth is a real crisis. Even one child born in the US will use 30 to a thousand times more resources than a Third World child. It’s like a couple are having 30 babies even though it’s just one! If the US goes in this direction maybe other countries will too!

Also, war must be halted. Not because it’s morally wrong, but because of the catastrophic environmental damage modern weapons cause to other creatures. FIND SOLUTIONS JUST LIKE THE BOOK SAYS! Humans are supposed to be inventive. INVENT, DAMN YOU!!

The world needs TV shows that DEVELOP solutions to the problems that humans are causing, not stupify the people into destroying the world. Not encouraging them to breed more environmentally harmful humans.

Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.

The humans? The planet does not need humans.

You MUST KNOW the human population is behind all the pollution and problems in the world, and YET you encourage the exact opposite instead of discouraging human growth and procreation. Surely you MUST ALREADY KNOW this!

I want Discovery Communications to broadcast on their channels to the world their new program lineup and I want proof they are doing so. I want the new shows started by asking the public for inventive solution ideas to save the planet and the remaining wildlife on it.

These are the demands and sayings of Lee.

[1]

I love Oprah. In fact, I love Oprah so much I’d even sleep with her, for money, a lot of money, and I’d even cum up inside that hot piece of ass. What’s better than Oprah kicking so much ass is she will tear into anyone she feels like it and for any reason. Especially douche lords like Jay Leno. Jay, I really don’t have much to say about you other than your show always has sucked and you’re a douche lord. Let’s face it, the best thing to happen to “The Tonight Show” was to put Conan on it. Oprah, you’re the shit. (I really hope Oprah doesn’t read this and forces me to come on her show to talk about the spooge portion of this post – afterall we are a college humor portal… nah that’d never happen.)

“The massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming. The rallies, the signs, all the goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet, and the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain to be in our audience, made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.”

“To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.”

“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

This was probably one of the best sign offs I’ve ever seen, ever, and probably the best in the history of the world. Conan O’Brien used unthinkable pose to open and close his last airing of “The Tonight Show”, it just doesn’t get any better than that kids.  Conan on a personal note you rock and whatever comes at you next will be great. Thank you for a great 7 months and I’ll see you on Sunday.

Because we just didn’t want you to forget. Kayne is a gay fish.

This just in. Our inside sources have presented confidential information exclusively to Mr-Nasty.com that proves Adam Lambert is NOT GAY.

Oh wait. Never mind, the dudes a total fucking faggot. Back to you Tim.

So I’m told The Real Housewives Premier was last night and Gretchen Rossi talked about becoming an official bullet spokesperson. To be honest with you, I could really fucking care less about her or her horse face show.  If you’re looking for Gretchen Rossi naked pictures you can find them here (thx Nik).

V is an American science-fiction television series first broadcast on ABC starting November 3, 2009. A reimagining of the 1983 miniseries V created by Kenneth Johnson, the new series is executive produced by The 4400 creator Scott Peters, Jace Hall, Steve Pearlman, and Jeffrey Bell. Four episodes of V will air in November 2009, and the series will resume in March 2010 after the 2010 Winter Olympics to complete the 13 episode series. ABC entertainment president Steve McPherson said, “We always intended to break the show up into ‘pods’ to make it more of an event.”

Yess!! If you missed this premier you’re gay, period.  I loved this show as a kid and was pretty stoked to hear it they were making a new one.  I can’t wait till the Alien Human fucking starts..  What? They’re hot. So is Megan Fox, damn I love fucking her.

So if you heard rumors that the lovable Seinfeld characters were going to come back together we’re happy to inform you that you heard right. According to our source on the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” set the characters are set to reunite on the show. So we’ll get a show within a show, with in a show. Rad. You can read more about the reunion here. Yadda yadda.