I love Oprah. In fact, I love Oprah so much I’d even sleep with her, for money, a lot of money, and I’d even cum up inside that hot piece of ass. What’s better than Oprah kicking so much ass is she will tear into anyone she feels like it and for any reason. Especially douche lords like Jay Leno. Jay, I really don’t have much to say about you other than your show always has sucked and you’re a douche lord. Let’s face it, the best thing to happen to “The Tonight Show” was to put Conan on it. Oprah, you’re the shit. (I really hope Oprah doesn’t read this and forces me to come on her show to talk about the spooge portion of this post – afterall we are a college humor portal… nah that’d never happen.)

“The massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming. The rallies, the signs, all the goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet, and the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain to be in our audience, made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.”

“To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.”

“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

This was probably one of the best sign offs I’ve ever seen, ever, and probably the best in the history of the world. Conan O’Brien used unthinkable pose to open and close his last airing of “The Tonight Show”, it just doesn’t get any better than that kids.  Conan on a personal note you rock and whatever comes at you next will be great. Thank you for a great 7 months and I’ll see you on Sunday.

Because we just didn’t want you to forget. Kayne is a gay fish.

This just in. Our inside sources have presented confidential information exclusively to Mr-Nasty.com that proves Adam Lambert is NOT GAY.

Oh wait. Never mind, the dudes a total fucking faggot. Back to you Tim.

So I’m told The Real Housewives Premier was last night and Gretchen Rossi talked about becoming an official bullet spokesperson. To be honest with you, I could really fucking care less about her or her horse face show.  If you’re looking for Gretchen Rossi naked pictures you can find them here (thx Nik).

V is an American science-fiction television series first broadcast on ABC starting November 3, 2009. A reimagining of the 1983 miniseries V created by Kenneth Johnson, the new series is executive produced by The 4400 creator Scott Peters, Jace Hall, Steve Pearlman, and Jeffrey Bell. Four episodes of V will air in November 2009, and the series will resume in March 2010 after the 2010 Winter Olympics to complete the 13 episode series. ABC entertainment president Steve McPherson said, “We always intended to break the show up into ‘pods’ to make it more of an event.”

Yess!! If you missed this premier you’re gay, period.  I loved this show as a kid and was pretty stoked to hear it they were making a new one.  I can’t wait till the Alien Human fucking starts..  What? They’re hot. So is Megan Fox, damn I love fucking her.

So if you heard rumors that the lovable Seinfeld characters were going to come back together we’re happy to inform you that you heard right. According to our source on the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” set the characters are set to reunite on the show. So we’ll get a show within a show, with in a show. Rad. You can read more about the reunion here. Yadda yadda.