TLC slaps Jon Gosselin with lawsuit
The TLC network has sued Jon Gosselin for allegedly breaching his contract as a star of the hit reality show “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”The lawsuit, filed Friday in the Circuit Court of Montgomery County, Md., alleges that Gosselin has failed to meet his obligations as an exclusive employee of the network, while appearing on rival networks’ programs for pay and making unauthorized public disclosures about the show.

Fuck me, am I the only person alive that doesn’t give a fuck about the Gosselin Family? I mean who fucking cares? They had 8 kids, she’s a bitch, he’s a hookers wet dream. TLC, your network fucking sucks.

Goldman Sachs $700,000+ Bonuses
For Goldman employees, it is almost as if the financial crisis never happened. Only months after paying back billions of taxpayer dollars, Goldman Sachs is on pace to pay annual bonuses that will rival the record payouts that it made in 2007, at the height of the bubble. In the last nine months, the bank set aside about $16.7 billion for compensation — on track to pay each of its 31,700 employees close to $700,000 this year. Top producers are expecting multimillion-dollar paydays.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? How about the rest of America mans-up with me and creates the largest class action law suit ever seen for stealing taxpayers hard earned money? You saw it here first. I mean come on, even if we won it’s not like they won’t get bailed out again.

Jennifer Aniston Drunk Dail
Jennifer Aniston drunk-dialed Brad Pitt, and got the shock of her life when Angelina Jolie answered. Jen was home alone in her sprawling Beverly Hills mansion in late September when she dialed Brad after downing a few glasses of white wine. When Jen heard Angie’s voice, she freaked out.” Flustered, Jen launched into a blistering attack on Angelina, said the insider. “Jen basically told Angie that she hated her, but Angelina fired back!”

Unless the story involves Jennifer and Angelina fucking each others orifices, I don’t want to hear this shit again. I don’t’ care which orifice, an ear hole with a tongue or even elbow would be fine.

Megan Fox Killed Early In Transformers 3
While Megan has been signed on for the third film, the rumor going around is that she will not last that long.  What that means for Shia LaBeouf and his love interest for the movie remains to be seen. If Mikaela Banes was killed early in Transformers 3, I think that the flow of the film could be all thrown out of wack. What do you think about the rumor, and who do you think could fill the love interest role that Megan currently has in the films if she is killed off?

So I’ve been getting massive emails coming in about my girlfriend fuck buddy Megan Fox and how Michael Bay has decided to kill her off in the upcoming Transformers 3. This is simply not true, at least she hasn’t said anything about it to me. It could be that I was just enjoying her giving me my hourly blow job and I could have missed it in her mumbling on my Greg.

Fun Links For That Ass:
Life’s Short, Have An Affair, yeah no shit! – worked for me, a few times!
The best resignation letter ever – they say the truth hurts
Scarface Quits His Job – who wouldn’t want to go out like this?
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can’t Explain – the aliens made them.
WorldMingle.com – pretty cool website, and free
One Terrorist vs. Two Apache Hellfire Missles – who ya got?
The Dirty Daily – full of useless slander, good times.
South Park Episode Butters’ Buttom Bitch – in case you missed it.

Jon allegedly removed $200,000 from the former couple’s joint bank account – leaving a mere $1,000, the rep confirmed. A judge had previously warned the former couple that neither could remove significant amounts from the account without the other’s approval. [1]

Jon, you go brotha. First fool around with one of the Nannies, get booted from your own TV show, and now theft. F’n rad.

[1]

Avril Lavigne – Avril Lavigne is officially fat, not as attractive, and now single. According to US.com magazine Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley have called it quits. Arvil, when you get the weight off give me a call.

Taylor Swift -  According to Fox Taylor she just wants to “move on” from the Kayne West controversy. We don’t blame you Tyalor, Kayne is a fucking douche and the faster we can get him out of hte media the better off the world is.

Jon Gosselin – Jon Gosselin is a dick and decided to give up their family’s dogs according to OMG claiming that Kate keeps refusing to take care of them.Come on Jon, she’s too busy banging hotter younger men and lets be honest, you have too many kids so who has time for dogs? You jackass.

Save The Boobs – probably the BEST PSA you will ever see. No seriously, make sure to watch it. Probably NSFW

Obnoxious Cell Phone Callers – no, not your significant other, I’m talking about these 10.

Cate Blanchett – Cate Blanchett proves that she can make anything look good on her by showing off her new threads apparently made from Roseanne’s’ Couch. Don’t worry Cate, you’re rocking that afghan and its all the same laying on my floor.

Why You’re Broke – Ever wonder why you don’t any extra cash flow? Here’s 4 other reasons, outside the fact that you’re a jackass, that’s stealing your cash.

Have An Affair, Guaranteed – Life’s short, have an affair!

Jon, we all do. We all can’t figure out how you stayed with her for so long. Nevermind, I suppose she was probably good for something. *wink wink* I keep waiting for her Playboy shoot.

Kate Gosselin

The co-stars of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” who are parents of sextuplets and twins, spoke of their decision to separate during Monday’s episode of the TLC reality series. [1]

I don’t mean to be harsh but who fucking cares?!? We all knew it was coming and I’m sure they’ve already signed their next season of surviving without each other. Followed by the reunion seasons and maybe a few episodes of drug rehab and marriage counciling.  Get over it America.. Oh and Kate, give me a call… I’d throw it around with you for a few hours before your mouth ruined your body for me.

Tyler Says..

Brangelina - Come on, he/she is one

BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, “Why don’t you get a house, jerk!” to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap)

Jon Gosselin Smoking - But are they organic smokes?

JON GOSSELIN – was caught smoking what looks to be a joint. Luckily that’s legal if you’re married to Kate Gosselin, which he is. (source = radar)

Elle MacPherson - Nice Rack! Just Sayin

ELLE MACPHERSON – as the worlds hottest 45-year-old dropped her kids off at school in London, this guy with the scooter had to feel even cooler than he usually does. I hope she doesn’t blow him right there, right in front of the kids. (14 more pics from today and Saturday = here.   hq jump = here.   source = wenn, fame and getty)

Meanwhile back at the ranch I’m very tired due to a series of harsh thunderstorms that rushed through the midwest last night. Thank the Lord it is Friday, if I had to put one more day of the week I’ve had in this work week I’d probably go shoot someone. Seriously, today couldn’t get here fast enough.

As I checkout for the weekend, I leave you with Megan.